Michael Clayton Vs. Michael Jordan

Do you think little kids in the Philippines wear Clayton jerseys

Every player has a website. They all have twitter accounts. They all have some kind of group or foundation.

But if they're good, and if they're famous and lucky, they might move up to the next level where they start getting nicknames. While this might be commonplace in professional baseball and basketball, a nickname in pro football is quite a status symbol. Around Tampa, we've had the A-Train and...well, we had the A-Train. And maybe "Automatica". Sorry guys, calling Bert Emanuel - "Hurt" Emanuel doesn't really count as a nickname.

If they are among the elite, they could one day become a number. Although it's easy to remember now because it's still fresh, if anyone says "4", you'll think Favre for the rest of your life. Around here we have 63, 40, and 55. Clayton likes to think of himself as "80", but nobody but him has ever referred to him seriously as 80, until we came a long and added the suffix "SUCKS" to it.

But believe it or not, there is a status even beyond Legend that few players ever get to. And I'm not talking about a hate site, even though that is a rare and awesome status indeed. I'm talking about...wait for it...a freakin' THEME SONG. To our knowledge, there is only one other athlete to ever have reached this status, and his name was Michael Jordan (Like Mike, If I Could Be Like Mike)

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE BRAND NEW SONG: 80 SUCKS
We'd like to thank Fred George and Max Combs for the 80Sucks theme song

That's right, Michael Clayton has it all. He's got lots of money, a website, twitter account, charitable foundation, nickname (does Clay-Hands and Concrete Blocks For Hands count?), he's known by his number 80(sucks), he has his own hate site (you're on it) and now he has his very own theme song.

And all by the age of 27 (think of this as a belated birthday present Mike).

He may never be voted to the pro bowl, or wear a super bowl ring, or maybe even catch another touchdown pass, but who cares? This guy has done it all, as far as we're concerned. Now he can just sit back and ride this for a few years - just like he did after his rookie year.