Game Day – Top 10 Reasons Michael Clayton Sucks

10) You're ranked 131st the league in receptions, 97th in yards, and 129th in touchdowns.  Think about that.  There are only 64 starting wide receivers in the leagues.  Granted, the rankings include running backs and tight ends, but when you are ranked 131st and 129th in catches and touchdowns, respectively, that means there are on average 4 players on EVERY OTHER TEAM IN THE LEAGUE who have more catches and receiving touchdowns than you.

9) The only thing people can talk about is your blocking.  Unless you're Hines Ward, talking about how great a starting wide receivers blocking is (without mentioning his ability to actually catch the ball) is the dating equivalent of saying a girl has a "nice personality."  Every guy (and girl, for that matter) knows what you mean when you say a girl has a nice personality.  Just like we all know what it means when someone says Clayton is a "great blocker."   

8 ) You're supposed to be a number two (starting) receiver, yet less than 2% of espn.com fanatasy owners have you on their roster.  (And it'd be even lower if you didn't include Mark Dominik, Raheem Morris, and Clayton's family and friends giving him a pity roster spot).  And just think, it didn't cost those 2% of fantasy owners $25 million to have him on their team.  Nobody would be dumb enough to have this guy on their team if it cost them $25 million......wait, nevermind.

7) You nearly have as many drops as you have catches after 5 games.  How can that be?  Either you have very few catches or a lot of drops.  Or both.  
  
6) You make Bucs fans remember the good ol' days of Reidel Anthony and Jacquez Green.  Remember how we all complained about the undersized Gator receivers who were afraid of contact?  If only we had a big, strong, physical wide receiver who wasn't afraid to go over the middle, we thought.  Well, we got him.....and now we're probably not the only ones saying maybe Anthony and Green weren't that bad. 

5) You have as many touchdown catches as Gaines Adams over the past year and a half.  That would be Gaines Adams, the former DEFENSIVE END for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.  Oh, and he only has one more touchdown over that same period than Dexter Jackson, who some say is one of the biggest busts in Bucs history and who is now a back-up receiver in his flag football league.

4) Your head coach made you sign a written contract outlining the coach's expectations for you over the off-season.  Isn't that something you do to a 3rd grader?  How many  times did Mike Alstott, Derrick Brooks, or Ronde Barber have to sign a contract promising to work hard.  You don't make professionals do some things like that.   Of course, maybe that's just it.....Clayton has never been a professional.

3) You actually say after a 34-21 loss that "this is the first loss you can smile about" simply because you caught 5 balls for 93 yards.  That's the attitude of a player who sucks.

2) Your coach DARES the media to write an article questioning why you're on the team after one game with 5 catches for 93 yards and 0 touchdowns.  When have you ever heard a head coach smuggly dare sportswriters to write about why a starting player is on a team?  And if a coach is going to do it, shouldn't he at least wait until the receiver blows up?  Maybe if he had 15 catches (not 5) or 193 yards (not 93).  The guy didn't have a touchdown, didn't have 100 yards receiving, and didn't help his team win the game.

1) You have your own theme song and website called....that's right....80sucks.  'Nough said.